Day 332: Almooost Done

Almoooost done. Well, I'll be adding more layers when I'm not lazy in the future. So this won't really be done anytime soon. lol but I'll "finish" what I have so far.

Day 331: Hello Stranger and Friends

I came home and found my little cousin sleeping like that lol. I took a picture and put her in a proper sleeping position afterwards.

So there's no way in knowing who visits this blog.. other than telling me. Realizing that anyone could visit this blog, reading something personal/random, and showing up in front of my face like nothing's up bothers me a little. With the exception of those living far away from me. I find it a little disturbing that someone I know knows something I know/feel without knowing that they know. It annoys me a bit. I know I'm responsible for what I put up online... and that's why I tried really hard not to post personal stuff before. Eh.. I guess we all do this don't we? I find some things about people sometimes, but I act like I don't know because it's really non of my business to deal with their situation. Yeah, I'm a hypocrite.. but don't act like you aren't.

I think I'm going to post less about personal things..hmmm. But at the same time, writing it down helps. Well, ugh whatever. I'll write down random things without saying too much.

Day 330: It Shouldn't Matter

My little brother is not feeling well lately. He has these little red spots all over his face and body. I forgot what that sickness is called, but I think you only get it once. He actually got smaller too since he doesn't have much appetite due to his condition. But he is getting better though! My mom says it lasts for a few days and then it should wear off.

Anyway, I wonder how I ended up being the one asking you that. Shouldn't guys be the ones asking a girl to her grad? Then again, it's not your grad haha. But it shouldn't really matter who asks first. Why does the guy have to ask every time? I bet guys wish the girls would ask first most of the time. But honestly, at this moment? I'd rather have the guy asking me instead lol.

Day 329: Hamlet

My English class is reading Hamlet. I hate how it's so hard to understand what the heck they're talking about. Old English is so haaard to understand! We even watched the movie part along with the book too, AND IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING! The actors were good, but the words just passed through my ears. I end up laughing to myself actually.

I know that actors are supposed to pretend that the character they're playing really is them. I was being blunt and laughed at how they think they're someone else in the movie. Like, they're so good at playing a different character, and I wondered if they pull that act in reality too. But I wasn't laughing at that, I was laughing at their expressions. I know, I'm being real shallow but I was sleep deprived at that time. Lack of sleep can make you a jerk sometimes lol.

Day 328: Field Trip

Went to a field trip to UofC today. I guess it wasn't such a good idea to go as we only walked around after a history lecture. BUT I did got something out of that trip. It was kind of an eye opener and a slap in the face mixed together. Haha, yeah and I got to have an idea on what it's like being there with UofC students passing by the hallways.

I was so full today. Thank you Lanie for the food! And tell your mom the same too. Sorry we weren't very fun, yeah I confess..I'm boring in parties lol. NOT all the time though! :P

P.S: That pole on the picture is bothering me. >.<

Day 327: Free Time

I didn't do any schoolwork tonight since I'm going to a field trip the whole school day tomorrow. And because there was no Grey's Anatomy, I continued drawing Kurt and talked to people online- oh yeaah multitasking! But really? Doing this wasn't such a good idea. I only end up just talking instead of drawing. Haha, good thing I actually drew before logging online.

This is cute! Click hurr to see!

Day 326: YMCA Peace Medals Award

Our YMCA extreme leaders group got nominated for an award! So we went downtown and attended the event. It was pretty cool, especially because we got to be in the media. Well, our friend Jomar got thrice the fame by talking to the media and the rest of us supported at the back lol. We got to be on TV and on the Herald newspaper also! It was a pretty cool experience.

After school, we waited for our YMCA event to start by staying in the art room. I was trying to study up until we were told to keep the foreign exchange students from Mexico busy and entertained. My art teacher invited them over, and so we did our best to entertain them. I talked and talked to some of them and attempted to keep them entertained by showing my recent and previous drawings on my laptop. It was really nice finding out things and conversing with them with just about anything. I hope they come back before they leave though! If not, well hopefully they remember us haha. ANYWAY, good food tonight guys. The potluck made me sooo full. Thanks God for such a great and awesome day! :D

Day 325: Kurt Drawing Update

So this was all I did tonight. I continued drawing WHILE watching Glee! OH YEEAH. They better not remove Kurt, or the show will be less entertaining without him.

You know what? I actually am enjoying drawing his hair! Shocking, since I hate drawing hair. Hmm. I guess I can say thanks to Mrs. Howell for helping me find a different way to draw hair. Oh yee Imma finish this sooon enough!

Day 324: Trigonometry Quiz

The trigonometry unit circle. ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL??
Oh yeah. I had to "memorize" all that. But trust me, it really isn't that bad. Once you know some key information, then this whole circle? Piece of cake!

Day 323: Over Analyzing

My brother can be a big jerk, but he does have his soft side. And oh Nathaniel, that cutie pie was so funny today :)

I don't know if you visit this blog, but what the hey, I'm writing this down. You mister. You are just. sigh. So I found out that it wasn't just me who noticed that day. I think a lot of people noticed something. And I think they think something is going on between you and I. I really don't know. I haven't over-analyzed this but this morning.. when I thought about you I felt... confused. How close you were sitting by me, you were technically squishing me to the side of the couch. >.< The way your skin touched mine. When we "held" hands. etcetcetc. I do feel some sort of affection, but I'm not sure if it's just friendship or something more. What made me confused? I was smiling at the thought of it..and... forced myself to stop thinking about you that way before the "butterflies" came. Am I just flattered or is there something more?

Ugh. Okay enough of this, I'm going to do my homework now.

Day 322: Discerning

I almost didn't make it to the meeting today. Well, good thing I did! Our last R.O.C.K Leaders meeting for the year... and although it wasn't a full attendance, worshipping with only a few (and all) of us was as always, amazing.

I have a lot to think about. I need to pray and discern what's next for me. Whether it be to stay or to move on, I gotta make sure if my hearts in it or not.

Day 321: Another Friday Aww Yee

So today was pretty awesome. Singing in Jill's car that loud was pretty awesome. Beating Kristine and Jomar on scramble was 'oh yeeaaah' awesome. Eating at a different pho was.. well, okay.. but would've been pretty awesome if I ordered my second choice instead. Anyway, we watched "To Save a Life" at the Jesus Word of Life (?) Church. The movie was indeed worth the watch. You should rent it, it's a good movie.

I remember the first time I heard of this movie which was probably, so many months ago. The first thing I did was look for it online (I know, that's baad.. BUT you've probably done it too!). I searched and searched and searched. If you'd seen me searching it, you would've thought I was crazy! Yeah, I wanted to watch it thaaaat bad. But I couldn't find it online and it didn't play at any theaters either. SO I gave up. Then I heard an event for this movie screening outside, but I couldn't make it to that one. THEN a friend told me that they were showing this at their church and FINALLY had to cancel a meeting with a friend just to see this movie. Yeah, I wanted to watch it thaaat bad. I don't know why I'm writing this. Okaay. Hope you have a good night!

Day 320: Coffee, Tea and Cake

So we had coffee and tea again, but this time with cake! See the kid on the right? It was his birthday, so my English teacher decided to bake for him. If you were wondering, yeah.. I decided to get coffee again with LESS sugar. Then I decided to get tea too just to try. The tea tasted really weird, so I ended up drinking coffee instead -___-.

I've decided that I'm not going to drink too much coffee in the future. I feel really weird afterwards. Who knows, maybe it's the way my English teacher made the coffee. Or maybe my body reacting differently now O.O. HOW AM I supposed to stay up in post-secondary now?!? OH GOSH. Must.Find.A.Way. >.<

Day 319: Plans Changed

She gives me more hugs than expected nowadays and have been in and out of my room a whole lot. Before her mom snatched her away, she kept on telling me to come with them and sleep in their room instead. She even tried to pull me with her teeny little hands lol. Where was I when she needed me before? The way I remembered it, I was always in a rush. I wasn't the big sister/cousin I should've been. If I had listened to what she needed, then our relationship would've been so much better. Not to say that it was bad. It's just that she's much more gentler to me now than before. :D

Anyway, I'm sorry I had to cancel this week's plans. Ugh. You're such a nice person! And I'm a jerk for putting you second. -____- I'll tell you as soon as possible which day I'll book off. And I guess we can't hang out at the park anymore, it might probably be too cold. We should eat out or something. Or watch a movie and discuss what you have in mind after. Ugh. The truth is, hanging out with only you makes me feel uneasy. >.< arrghgh. I wish you'd say we can talk while hanging out with everyone else. It'd be much easier for me as lame as that sounds. I'm so laame.

Day 318: Sugar Overdose

Yesterday my English teacher brought in tea and coffee. Thinking that I needed to stay awake in this class as I always start to fall asleep during this period, I decided that I should have some coffee. I haven't drank coffee in a while and as I remembered it at that time, it was bitter without much sugar. So I put in 3 teaspoons of sugar in my cup. It.was.too.sweet. I didn't want to throw it out so I drank it. Later I felt some weird effects. I felt sleepy and tired and my back was feeling weak. I'm sitting there like, "WHAT THE HECK, why is my body reacting so strangely??"

I overdosed myself with sugar. -___- And I still feel the "effects" today too so I wasn't really myself. On a serious note, something was bothering me. I'm not sure if it's the caffeine or just me. I had a memory problem today. There was this one word I couldn't remember. This isn't something that happens once in a while. It happens a lot. I forget peoples names and words that it comes to a point having a conversation with someone is hard because I simply can't concentrate on what I mean to say. Maybe it's just stress. Or maybe I'm over thinking/overreacting. I am concerned though. So I might as well get myself check just in case.

Don't worry about me, I think it's just a phase. All the over thinking and stress can affect one's memory. So it may just be that.

Day 317: Not Complete

Early admission to UofC? HOPEFULLY. But just like my dream, something feels empty. Something's missing. >.< I don't know. But there's one little thing that I'm starting to feel. I feel scared. I don't know what's going to happen a few months from now, but I hope I can be certain of my path. If I realize that this isn't for me after 1 year, well then. There's still time to figure out down the road.

Day 316: Posterize Oil Painting

Oil paintings should be thick. That's what my art teacher said. Yeah, mine isn't as thick. So maybe I'll try and paint it over and over again to hide the little mistakes and imperfections I don't want anyone to see. Which reminds me... we all do that don't we? We see something we don't like about ourselves or things we don't want people to know about, so we paint over it. We paint with makeup, clothing, attitude, facial expressions, etc etcetera. Sooner or later, you sort of build yourself up with lies. Whatever mirage/illusions we've made, eventually you are going to realize that reality will always catch up. You're gonna want to be real with yourself. You're going to look at the mirror and ask, "Why Am I doing this? Why Am I painting myself with things that aren't me?"

I guess it can all sum up to the fact that reality will always dominate fantasy. That's the brutal truth. You want to be happy? Be yourself.

Does this make sense? Maybe I could've put it in better words. Ugh. too lazy.
Anyway, this was just a thought. -____-

Day 315: Hope You Won't See This

So I'm really hoping that a certain friend doesn't go to my blog anymore. Because I was busy watching the Pacquiao Vs. Margarito fight, I was lazy enough to only take this picture. This will be my gift to her I guess? I hope it turns out good. Though the paper quality is a little crappy. Oh well. Anyway.. if you happen to see this, well I hope you'll pretend that you didn't see it. Or wouldn't even have the slightest clue that this was for you. Ugh, whatever. Well tada! If you do see this, now you'll know what you're getting on your 18th birthday mah friend :D

Day 314: Will Enjoy it While I Have it.

AWW YEEE I have two laptops now! Pfft I wish. My mom took away all electronics from my brother until he improves his marks at school. He's passing but his marks are unacceptable. My parents aren't strict but when they find that we're abusing the freedom they gave us, they sure will do something about it! So for now, I plan on taking his ipod touch, his apple laptop (technically, it's not his but my dad lets him use it), his... well not his TV.. it's too big to carry out. lol I guess that's it I can take from him. -___-

What ticks me a little is why does he have a freaking ipod touch while I have a freaking nano?? Ugh. I'm older.. I deserve an ipod touch. lol Oh well it doesn't bother me much.

If you're wondering what I'm watching on the right laptop, it's Smallville. Yeaah I watch it online. I rarely watch T.V anymore. Online is better 'cause I can pause it, rewind and watch it anytime I want. It's like having a TiVo, but internet version lol. I don't even know what a TiVo really does though I heard you can rewind, pause and play. Uh..yeah. Okay goodnight!

Day 313: Puzzles

Arielle found this at my room and insisted that we play and figure it out together. Awww. So yeah we brought it upstairs and I helped her find which one went with which and let her assemble them together. And as you expect from a kid, it did took a while. We figured the same picture twice today. And being the impatient jerk that suddenly came over me, I kind of fast paced the puzzle when she got sidetracked by Treehouse. I did like, 4 pieces of puzzles so I guess I wasn't really a jerk -___- lol I had to go do something okay?! That's why I assembled 4 pieces and let her finished the rest. It was fun though, I'd say we've gotten much closer after that hehe.

Day 312: I Love Physics

So there was this presentation dedicated to the soldiers who risked their life for our country. It's remembrance day tomorrow in Canada actually. Thank you soldiers for giving us the freedom we have today.

I love physics class. I love my physics teacher. He's an AWESOME PHYSICS TEACHER. I realize I also like hands on learning. He's always demonstrating things so we can understand it. We even put water in balloons tied to a string, went outside and see what circular motion could do. Mr. Nugara was the target, and we had to motion the water balloon on the string in a way so that it would hit him. OMG I LOVE PHYSICS CLASS. lol. It really depends on the teacher- how well they teach you and stuff- 'cause if Mr. Nugara wasn't my physics teacher, I would've hated physics.

I liked how so many of us from YMCA went to pho. It's so much more joyous when there's that many people walking to and from that restaurant. Also, I don't like the structure now. But lets give it a month, and complain if everyone else don't like it either.

Day 311: Make Up Your Mind

They are growing up so fast! Man, I can't wait until I can watch disney movies with them in theaters. I hope I can drive by then though lol.

OKAY so today I felt sad because I suddenly had a change of heart to become a pharmacist instead. My friend made me search things up about it and also because it was part of my list before. It's going to be hard work, but I know I can make it through if I focus. BUT that was only how I felt during the whole school day. This consideration faded in the afternoon though. Man, I'm sticking to nursing for now. I might change majors when I know a little bit more about myself. It's funny, when you know less about yourself than your friends. That is disappointing.

Day 310: Hello Monday

My ipod froze. I think this is the second time around it did that. Only this time, it worked again during art. Last time? It wouldn't work for months. I thought it was dead and gone, then one day I took a look at it one last time to see if I could do anything else. I put it on charge AND IT LIT UP! I've been adding songs ever since.

So I found out today that my grandpa can finally come hurr in Canada! It's been a long time since I've seen my mom and aunt jump for joy. It was nice to see how happy they were when they got the news! I hope I can talk to him easily. To ask him what he has learned in life and what advice he can give me through his experiences. Isn't it interesting when you think about it that way? To imagine what it must've been like for them in their younger days. I wish I could've asked this back when I volunteered at linkages. Oh well.

Anyways, I got into the Cybermentor program. Now I'd have to wait for them to match me up with a mentor. My (girl) friends also signed up so I hope we can exchange answers with what they learned and what I learned. It's free so there's nothing to lose if I sign up or not. I'll only gain from learning something new!

Day 309: MLIA

Aww yeauh he can sit on his own now! But we still need to make sure he doesn't fall side ways, back or front. This was during church actually before the mass started. This kid has a scream like a little girl. He screams so loud! But it's cute so that's okay lol.

I love MLIA. Here's my MLIA moment for today:

Today I decided to do my homework/study while listening to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack. I also napped as it played. Hasn’t stopped playing ever since. Next, I’m going to listen to the Harry Potter Soundtracks. Aww yeee.

My Life Is Average.

Maybe I should submit it. Haha, on another time.

Day 308: UofC Open House

My friends and I planned to wake up early today for the open house at UofC. I did. The both of them forgot to make sure their alarm clocks work. lol. So I waited and ended up the last one to arrive at the station LOL. YAY Jill came with us! :) Unfortunately, Kristine couldn't go :( Oh wells.

Today was so helpful. A lot of my questions were answered during the Nursing Tour and it made me excited for the whole experience. They said that residency is really fun. So I might try that in the first year or the other years when and if circumstance allows me to. Also, the curriculum is different. They say it's easier now that the options will be put out of the way in the first year, and the remaining years will be about nursing. We got to see "patients" that talk, breathe, hear their heart beats, vomit (one could do so, but we didn't see) and probably many other things they could do. Then we got to this baby "patient". A 2nd year nursing student tells us that there are many different types of nursing. At that moment I wanted to be the kind that took care of babies. But that was only at the moment. lol.

We also went to presentations on ICT 102. One of them was about engineering. It really got me wavering because it seemed so fun! You could go places with engineering. And seeing that I'm doing pretty damn well on my physics 20 course, it made me re-think about putting back physics 30 in the second semester. Not sure. Maybe if I stay at a 94 or in that range then I might consider taking it next sem. Aww yeauh, daas raaytee I'm at the 90's! lol This makes me feel smart. :D

Well today was fun. We didn't get to eat so in the afternoon we went to Sakana Grill. It's better than Sumo in the way I experienced it haha. That was practically my breakfast, lunch, and dinner right thurr. Thanks for today guys! I'm really glad we went to the open house! :D

Day 307: Hellooo Friday

Did I say I love days like our Friday hang outs? Yeah, totally do. Jill, I think you and Jomar's house are our hang out venues now LOL. And that makes me wonder where we should hold our Christmas party... I'll check with you guys once I'm done planning it.. err randomly.

I know I should've been some place else, but sorry for those expecting me to show up.. I needed this day with them. I know, it's a pretty lame excuse.

Well anyway. I HAD NO IDEA YOU CAN MAKE TAHO HURR IN CANADA?!?! OH MY GOODNESS. My life is a teeny bit much closer to complete lol. Imma make some tell my mom to make some and get high off of it. err. just eat like I was back at home lol. Thaanks for the food Jill and tita. lols oh the memories.

I liked how we watched those two movies on the bed. Me falling asleep to a "scary" movie was worth it. That movie wasn't even scary. But I did got some energy back.

I want to write down every single detail. Like how I finally said "Thank you... Po" on impulse to Jomar's parents. lol. I felt proud for having said that! But there's too much to write. So I'll remember today's moments by memory. Or by the pictures we took. Hehe, gooodnight!

Day 306: Conversations

I was multitasking, as always. I continued drawing Kurt. I was talking to people. I was watching Grey's Anatomy at the same time. I signed up for something. I read messages. etc etc etc. But I forgot to do homework. lol. oh wells.

You know what I enjoyed about today? Having the conversation we aren't used to talking. I like how we are opening up to each other. Being able to say this and that. It was really nice. I love days like that with you guys. I hope we never run out of things to talk about! :)

Day 305: I Don't Know

I'm applying soon for nursing at this university. I wish now that I took the time to get serious before on what I really want to be. What I want to do for the rest of my life. But I was like, "MAAAN I STILL GOTS TIME!" And look where it's got me. Still undecided. I really don't know what I want. Between art and medicine? Don't know. But seriously though? I've always wanted..orr thought that I'd be in the medical field. But this thing about discovering who I really am and what I really want to do.. it just sucks when you're running out of time to choose which career fits who you are. There's a lot of options though, like say, taking a year off. But right now? I don't really want to do that. I want to jump on board right away and get the education I need to live an independent life.

BUT MAN, with all these other things I have to deal with, it becomes harder to focus because my stupid hormones keep me from doing what I should be doing. Everything is clustered in my mind. My feelings are mixed up and I'm just really confused on what is right and wrong anymore when I'm being real. -sigh- I'm having those moments again. But this is my blog. I'm allowed to say what I want. So deal with it.

-You're pretty cruel you know. I know I've told you something I've never told anyone else, but did you have to be so ignorant about how I might feel?
-I need sleep. I find myself sleeping just about anywhere >.<
-If you went to my school, we'd be best friends.
-I'm glad I didn't see you today. I want to do this right.
-I need to break things down and stay off the computer. ugh. but thats so hard though.
-Go ahead. Hurt me. It's not like I have feelings or anything.

Day 304: Smarties

So I've been eating a lot of smarties lately. Someone bought a box of mixed candies and since I didn't go trick or treating, those bunches of candies makes me feel like I did.

My mom told me they went to my school today. And there was this young, short-haired (Rihanna-like haircut) young female teacher wearing a T-shirt who cleaned her hand really fast with a hand sanitizer just so she could hold my baby brother. He was making a ton of noises apparently and I guess she couldn't resist his cuteness? Haha so my mom let her hold Nathaniel. THEEEEEEN I REALIZED, my math teacher has that kind of haircut, she was wearing a t-shirt today and she is pretty young. YUPP, that was enough to let me think it was her. My parents didn't catch her name so I'm guessing it's Mrs. Lisafeld. My mom also mentioned how she doesn't have a baby yet. And due to the random things she talks about in math class, it made me think that maybe it was her. LOL thats kind of weird. My math teacher holding my baby brother. O.O

WAAAIT. It might've been Mrs. Marsh(?). Oh wells.

Day 303: I'm Complaining Aren't I?

So I'm done my drawing assignment! HECK YEAH! But it still needs a few more work on some areas. The reference picture was supposed to be a collage of images I put together. There were like, six images I think? And that reference picture was supposed to be manipulated by the blender pen that the grade 11s suck the ink out of. I didn't apply any blender pen on it... I think I might've been an exception. lol. I made it complex enough at first so she could excuse me from putting the blender pen on plus I made a comment on how there weren't enough ink for the grade 12s so she could excuse us all. And I can't help but think that I took advantage out of that.

The more I think about it, the more I feel bad. I feel bad because I feel like an exception. I know I have some talent, but it feels like I can get away with art. Or maybe I'm thinking just too much? But it's how my friends see it and how I'm seeing it as well. I guess I could say, that I would like her to be honest about my art. Because right now, and I'm not just saying it because I want to show off or something, right now I'm sitting at a 97.6. And I'm not even done the assignments.

There are probably a lot of other reasons to why she's nice. And as I sit here taking the time to read the comment she put on D2L, I feel that I don't really deserve all the pretty awesome things she says about me. oh gaaash. iunno.

Am I just complaining or whaat? gosh. Maybe I'll just accept this very nice mark and not think too much about it. End of story. -___-