Day 325: Kurt Drawing Update

So this was all I did tonight. I continued drawing WHILE watching Glee! OH YEEAH. They better not remove Kurt, or the show will be less entertaining without him.

You know what? I actually am enjoying drawing his hair! Shocking, since I hate drawing hair. Hmm. I guess I can say thanks to Mrs. Howell for helping me find a different way to draw hair. Oh yee Imma finish this sooon enough!

Day 324: Trigonometry Quiz

The trigonometry unit circle. ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL??
Oh yeah. I had to "memorize" all that. But trust me, it really isn't that bad. Once you know some key information, then this whole circle? Piece of cake!

Day 323: Over Analyzing

My brother can be a big jerk, but he does have his soft side. And oh Nathaniel, that cutie pie was so funny today :)

I don't know if you visit this blog, but what the hey, I'm writing this down. You mister. You are just. sigh. So I found out that it wasn't just me who noticed that day. I think a lot of people noticed something. And I think they think something is going on between you and I. I really don't know. I haven't over-analyzed this but this morning.. when I thought about you I felt... confused. How close you were sitting by me, you were technically squishing me to the side of the couch. >.< The way your skin touched mine. When we "held" hands. etcetcetc. I do feel some sort of affection, but I'm not sure if it's just friendship or something more. What made me confused? I was smiling at the thought of it..and... forced myself to stop thinking about you that way before the "butterflies" came. Am I just flattered or is there something more?

Ugh. Okay enough of this, I'm going to do my homework now.

Day 322: Discerning

I almost didn't make it to the meeting today. Well, good thing I did! Our last R.O.C.K Leaders meeting for the year... and although it wasn't a full attendance, worshipping with only a few (and all) of us was as always, amazing.

I have a lot to think about. I need to pray and discern what's next for me. Whether it be to stay or to move on, I gotta make sure if my hearts in it or not.

Day 321: Another Friday Aww Yee

So today was pretty awesome. Singing in Jill's car that loud was pretty awesome. Beating Kristine and Jomar on scramble was 'oh yeeaaah' awesome. Eating at a different pho was.. well, okay.. but would've been pretty awesome if I ordered my second choice instead. Anyway, we watched "To Save a Life" at the Jesus Word of Life (?) Church. The movie was indeed worth the watch. You should rent it, it's a good movie.

I remember the first time I heard of this movie which was probably, so many months ago. The first thing I did was look for it online (I know, that's baad.. BUT you've probably done it too!). I searched and searched and searched. If you'd seen me searching it, you would've thought I was crazy! Yeah, I wanted to watch it thaaaat bad. But I couldn't find it online and it didn't play at any theaters either. SO I gave up. Then I heard an event for this movie screening outside, but I couldn't make it to that one. THEN a friend told me that they were showing this at their church and FINALLY had to cancel a meeting with a friend just to see this movie. Yeah, I wanted to watch it thaaat bad. I don't know why I'm writing this. Okaay. Hope you have a good night!

Day 320: Coffee, Tea and Cake

So we had coffee and tea again, but this time with cake! See the kid on the right? It was his birthday, so my English teacher decided to bake for him. If you were wondering, yeah.. I decided to get coffee again with LESS sugar. Then I decided to get tea too just to try. The tea tasted really weird, so I ended up drinking coffee instead -___-.

I've decided that I'm not going to drink too much coffee in the future. I feel really weird afterwards. Who knows, maybe it's the way my English teacher made the coffee. Or maybe my body reacting differently now O.O. HOW AM I supposed to stay up in post-secondary now?!? OH GOSH. Must.Find.A.Way. >.<

Day 319: Plans Changed

She gives me more hugs than expected nowadays and have been in and out of my room a whole lot. Before her mom snatched her away, she kept on telling me to come with them and sleep in their room instead. She even tried to pull me with her teeny little hands lol. Where was I when she needed me before? The way I remembered it, I was always in a rush. I wasn't the big sister/cousin I should've been. If I had listened to what she needed, then our relationship would've been so much better. Not to say that it was bad. It's just that she's much more gentler to me now than before. :D

Anyway, I'm sorry I had to cancel this week's plans. Ugh. You're such a nice person! And I'm a jerk for putting you second. -____- I'll tell you as soon as possible which day I'll book off. And I guess we can't hang out at the park anymore, it might probably be too cold. We should eat out or something. Or watch a movie and discuss what you have in mind after. Ugh. The truth is, hanging out with only you makes me feel uneasy. >.< arrghgh. I wish you'd say we can talk while hanging out with everyone else. It'd be much easier for me as lame as that sounds. I'm so laame.

Day 318: Sugar Overdose

Yesterday my English teacher brought in tea and coffee. Thinking that I needed to stay awake in this class as I always start to fall asleep during this period, I decided that I should have some coffee. I haven't drank coffee in a while and as I remembered it at that time, it was bitter without much sugar. So I put in 3 teaspoons of sugar in my cup. It.was.too.sweet. I didn't want to throw it out so I drank it. Later I felt some weird effects. I felt sleepy and tired and my back was feeling weak. I'm sitting there like, "WHAT THE HECK, why is my body reacting so strangely??"

I overdosed myself with sugar. -___- And I still feel the "effects" today too so I wasn't really myself. On a serious note, something was bothering me. I'm not sure if it's the caffeine or just me. I had a memory problem today. There was this one word I couldn't remember. This isn't something that happens once in a while. It happens a lot. I forget peoples names and words that it comes to a point having a conversation with someone is hard because I simply can't concentrate on what I mean to say. Maybe it's just stress. Or maybe I'm over thinking/overreacting. I am concerned though. So I might as well get myself check just in case.

Don't worry about me, I think it's just a phase. All the over thinking and stress can affect one's memory. So it may just be that.

Day 317: Not Complete

Early admission to UofC? HOPEFULLY. But just like my dream, something feels empty. Something's missing. >.< I don't know. But there's one little thing that I'm starting to feel. I feel scared. I don't know what's going to happen a few months from now, but I hope I can be certain of my path. If I realize that this isn't for me after 1 year, well then. There's still time to figure out down the road.

Day 316: Posterize Oil Painting

Oil paintings should be thick. That's what my art teacher said. Yeah, mine isn't as thick. So maybe I'll try and paint it over and over again to hide the little mistakes and imperfections I don't want anyone to see. Which reminds me... we all do that don't we? We see something we don't like about ourselves or things we don't want people to know about, so we paint over it. We paint with makeup, clothing, attitude, facial expressions, etc etcetera. Sooner or later, you sort of build yourself up with lies. Whatever mirage/illusions we've made, eventually you are going to realize that reality will always catch up. You're gonna want to be real with yourself. You're going to look at the mirror and ask, "Why Am I doing this? Why Am I painting myself with things that aren't me?"

I guess it can all sum up to the fact that reality will always dominate fantasy. That's the brutal truth. You want to be happy? Be yourself.

Does this make sense? Maybe I could've put it in better words. Ugh. too lazy.
Anyway, this was just a thought. -____-

Day 315: Hope You Won't See This

So I'm really hoping that a certain friend doesn't go to my blog anymore. Because I was busy watching the Pacquiao Vs. Margarito fight, I was lazy enough to only take this picture. This will be my gift to her I guess? I hope it turns out good. Though the paper quality is a little crappy. Oh well. Anyway.. if you happen to see this, well I hope you'll pretend that you didn't see it. Or wouldn't even have the slightest clue that this was for you. Ugh, whatever. Well tada! If you do see this, now you'll know what you're getting on your 18th birthday mah friend :D

Day 314: Will Enjoy it While I Have it.

AWW YEEE I have two laptops now! Pfft I wish. My mom took away all electronics from my brother until he improves his marks at school. He's passing but his marks are unacceptable. My parents aren't strict but when they find that we're abusing the freedom they gave us, they sure will do something about it! So for now, I plan on taking his ipod touch, his apple laptop (technically, it's not his but my dad lets him use it), his... well not his TV.. it's too big to carry out. lol I guess that's it I can take from him. -___-

What ticks me a little is why does he have a freaking ipod touch while I have a freaking nano?? Ugh. I'm older.. I deserve an ipod touch. lol Oh well it doesn't bother me much.

If you're wondering what I'm watching on the right laptop, it's Smallville. Yeaah I watch it online. I rarely watch T.V anymore. Online is better 'cause I can pause it, rewind and watch it anytime I want. It's like having a TiVo, but internet version lol. I don't even know what a TiVo really does though I heard you can rewind, pause and play. Uh..yeah. Okay goodnight!